R.I.P CORP 2011

I’m all out of loooove, I’m so lost without youuu.

http://youtu.be/JWdZEumNRmI

No Biohunters this week

Mike is on holiday. New Mr. Mentalist next week, though.

Internet Crazies: ApostleRon on Marrying Jesus

Greetings, this is Mr Mentalist and I am here to ruin your day by showcasing the many unpleasant and unhinged people that reside on the internet.

Before the advent of the internet religous crazies had to stand screaming on street corners to spread their message of hellfire and rapture. Nowadays this is no longer the case. The internet has given a much louder voice to these horrible people so they can now irritate and perplex a far larger volume of people than they could standing piss-stained and rambling at a bus station. But with great power, comes great craziness…

Enter Mr. Mentalist

So I bet at least 2 of you out there were like “Oh no I have to wait 2 weeks to see posts about horrible people on the internet!” Well have no fear, because we have a new writer and segment on Biohunters.

Introducing Mr. Mentalist, a man who has to write about awful people on the internet every 2 weeks because we said so. Mr. Mentalist will be writing a post about a new terrible person he has found surfing along the internet seas, and giving us deep insight into their psyche (He’s like Freud or some shit I don’t even know).

Hopefully this should fill the void in the heart of our 1 reader.

Back from the Dead to Kick you in the Bread

Biohunters is back from some small downtime brought on by us being dirty crime-inals and sending out one or two messages on a forum, which in turn sent out e-mails to the recipients. Of course, we’ve stopped all that nonsense and will now be relying on sites like Reddit to get the word out about Biohunters.

This downtime gave me and Mike time to think about how much making fun of awful Roleplayers gets in the way of our own Roleplaying and video game playing, so we have decided to change our site format to an update every two weeks on wednesdays. This will allow us to GET OUR GAME ON and will prevent us from getting through content too quickly, as there are only so many bad roleplayers in the world.

Thank you in advance for not hurting me.

Oh no not Biohunters I love those guys

Threat or menace?

 

Mike: We’ve got an extremely long winded one lined up today. This one’s just about as old as dirt and it really shows in the enormous and convoluted backstory.

Jack: I have had the misfortune of reading this one in advance, and it’s pretty fucking awful.

Mike: I just don’t get it. It’s like one massive stinky pile of cliches and awfully convenient plot points.

Jack: Let’s get this trainwreck rolling.

 

Werwulvs are kul like my mum

Mike: You ever get that feeling like you really want to do something but then you actually do and you’ve lost complete interest in it?

Mike: I mean, you think it’s gonna be really exciting and fun, like having sex, but then it ends up being tedious and painful, like having sex with me.

Jack: I pretty much have that for everything I ever do, but I don’t have much going for me in life.

Mike: Let’s just get this over with before we kill ourselves.

Jack: Just give me a minute, I can’t quite get this noose to stay up.

Da-bu-dee da-bu-dow

(That has got to be the worst joke title in the universe..)

Mike: Today on Biohunters, we’ll be doing things a bit differently. This is as much a case study of the character and the person playing it as it is the kind of company he keeps and the sort of roleplay they get into.

Jack: If the last post was any indication, this is going to be wonderful.

Mike: It’s not all bad. It did help me discover my latent attraction to poorly drawn disfigured women.

Super hero drama cuts like a knife

Two websites, both alike in content

On the fair internet, where we lay our scene

From pretty recent grudge break to new mutiny,

Where cheeto dust makes civil hands unclean

From forth the fatal loins (haha dongs) of these two foes

A pair of star-cross’d gaylords take their life;

Whose misadventured piteous bullshit

Do with their death bury their website’s strife

The fearful passage of their death-mark’d roleplaying,

ANd the continuance of their userbase’s rage,

Which, but their user’s end, nought could remove,

Is now the next 5 minutes’ traffic of our stage;

The which if you without ADD attent,

What here shall miss, our toilet shall strive to mend.

250 metric tons (of shit)

 

Mike: And welcome back to Biohunters.

Mike: So Jack, how is the internet celebrity lifestyle suiting you?

Jack: I have been recognized in the street at least twice in the last hour

Mike: Funny, I can’t really picture you outside of your house. Doesn’t seem like it’d be your territory.

Jack: I ran out of Mountain Dew

Mike: I hope you stocked up on it then because you’re gonna need it once you see this one.

Jack: Unfortunately not, a stray cat looked at me funny so I ran back home.